Desperately Seeking Someone(s)

I’m turning my blog into Match.com today for the purpose of finding four dates all for the same day. Here are my qualifications for my future mates: There are only two, so pay attention or you might miss them: 1.) You need to be able to propel yourself forward. 2) You need to be available for our date on September 24 . . . of this year.

It doesn’t matter if you are male or female.

It also doesn’t matter if you have another special someone in your life. Look at me! I’m married after all, quite happily actually. (Now you do have to be okay with the fact that my husband is probably WAY better at what we are going to be doing on our date than you are, but please keep in mind that he works on it like six days out of seven, so don’t let that dissuade you from being my date. I am an equal opportunity “dater,” and frankly, despite all of the practice we get around here, I am not very good at it either, so please do not be intimidated.)

See? Look how I am so not picky!! This seems easy enough, right? Okay, so before you go knocking down my door . . . or thinking that I have lost my last marbles writing innuendo jokes, let me tell you the other details.

I need a team for the Akron Marathon Relay!! You see, I sort of messed things up from a team aspect earlier this year when I trained for and completed the 10K at the Cleveland Marathon back in May. I did not miss a run in my training program, going from a consistent, mundane three miles only three times a week, to running 3.5 to 6 miles at least three times a week. It was a true testament to the fact that picking a goal, making a plan, and sticking to that plan down to the last detail really does work and can leave a person feeling amazingly accomplished once that goal is met. Though I had run 6.2 miles before, I had never completed that distance in an actual event, and though I was still slow, I did the 10K that day in May with virtually no issues. I felt phenomenal when I was done! I could conquer the world at that point!! Rawwwrrrr!!

The day after the Cleveland Marathon, I made Darth Vader help me with a new plan. The possibilities were endless!! I would do a 10-miler in August! I would defeat the half-marathon-monkey on my back in September at the Akron Marathon!! I would become svelte in the process!

Not only did I plan this with Darth Vader, but I also committed the cardinal sin of goal setting. I told a BUNCH of people about it. It seems that I have an itty-bitty problem when it comes to keeping things to myself. (This should not be a surprise. I do have this blog after all.) The problem that resulted from my big mouth this time was that in telling some former relay teammates of mine that I was looking to achieve half-marathon greatness, I let them off the hook! They haven’t had time to train; they haven’t had time to mentally prepare.

Then May turned into June. Then it got hot, and if you’ve been reading, you know I don’t like to run when it’s hot. I don’t know, something about the sweat runnels from my forehead mixing with the “sweat proof” sunscreen on my face and dripping into my eyes causing extreme stinging and blindness is just kind of a turn off. And that’s only part of it.

So, yeah, the dreams of vastly increasing my distance from 6.2 miles to 13.1 evaporated with the heat as the temperatures this summer have climbed to and are hovering in the balmy, sticky, oppressive range. I alienated my teammates, and now I am searching for some by means of my blog. (Good thing this isn’t real dating or I would have a major complex about myself at this point.)

Here’s what I need: Four people to run a combined total of approximately 20.5 miles. I would like to do the 5.7 mile leg of the relay, but I am willing to do the 3.5 or 6.2. There are 2.8 and 8 mile portions as well.

If you haven’t participated in or witnessed the Akron Marathon, or “Run the Bird” as their slogan reports, it really is a fun event. THOUSANDS of people do it -- people of ALL shapes, sizes, and running abilities (some people even form teams and walk the whole thing). The course runs through many different Akron sights, so if you haven’t thought nicely about Akron recently, being on the course may remind you of some of the cool things about our thriving metropolis (or the closest bigger city that we’ve got). It takes place in September, so the weather is usually quite temperate, and it starts at seven in the morning, so even if it is going to get warm, that doesn’t happen until later. Finally, there is a fun little party at the Akron Aeros’ stadium when you finish with food AND there are free beer tickets on your race bib. That’s enough incentive right there, if you ask me! (Uh, and the Barley House is right next door to the finish, so moving the after party over there is also a fun option, too.)

So if you are feeling like you’d like to “go out” with me on Saturday, September 24, 2011, please let me know. Send me an email, comment here, send me a message on FB, or tell me in person the next time we see each other. Please do not worry about speed. This will be a very non-competitive team. We’re just doing it because it is fun, it feels great to get up and do something healthy with thousands of other people, and there’s beer at the end . . . just kidding, well, sort of. And do not worry. If you are a commitment-phobe, I won’t bug you after this one date. I’m not looking for a long-term relationship; I promise I won’t try to tie you down. Think about it!

Check out the website for further details: www.akronmarathon.org