So I put myself on the South Beach Diet. It's kind of a weird story about how it happened, but, in short, Skywalker picked it out for bedtime story (seriously . . . without any prompting) for a few nights in a row, and after actually reading it (there has been at least one copy of this book in my house for at least 5 years collecting dust in the spare bedroom), while he drove cars over his pillows and pretended like he was interested, its principles made a lot of sense to me. I'm not ashamed to say that I've been struggling with some extra lbs. for quite some time now, and after busting my ass in the gym, on the treadmill, and out on the road in total, dedicated seriousness for approximately 8 weeks with no significant results on the scale whatsoever, I came to the conclusion that my diet is what has to be keeping me from achieving my goals. (Okay, and I probably could use to incorporate some strength training on a regular basis, but let's just go with diet at this point, okay?)
Basically, the South Beach Diet, if you aren't familiar, begins with two solid weeks of minimal carbs. The major premise of this is that you sort of change your blood by depleting it of foods with high glycemic levels. By doing this, you are supposedly eliminating cravings for bad foods and jumpstarting weight loss. After the first two weeks, you slowly reintroduce good carbs back into your diet. Then, after you've lost the weight you want, you go on the third phase of the diet, which is how you will eat for the rest of your life, should you chose to remain on the straight and narrow when it comes to food. I needed to start somewhere, and this sounded like as good a place as any, so I thought I'd give it a whirl. Sure, it was popular like 10 years ago, but I'm okay with being late to the party if it works.
So, first two weeks: no bread, no rice, no pasta, no dairy, no cereal, no fruit, no added sugar, no alcohol (what?), no chips, no pretzels, no chicken wings, no Starbucks drinks with whipped cream, and, most important of all, no. Shamrock. shake. (I picked THE most unfortunate time to start this when it comes to my favorite artificially flavored frosty mint treat.)
It's been an interesting journey over the last six days, and I thought it would be fun to share my newfound knowledge with anybody who wants to read . . .
1. From a self-proclaimed "carb addict," being without carbs really wasn't bad . . . at all. Protein really does do what "they" say. It keeps you satisfied for longer periods of time than carbs. I've been eating these little egg cups for breakfast, which I pre-made on Sunday, throughout the week, as opposed to toast or an English muffin with peanut butter, and I have found that I don't get that second period craving that I normally have. (I'm a teacher. I talk in teacher time. First through eighth period. I don't really even know WHEN second period is. All I know is that it's my prep period, and I am usually hunting for some kind of food when it arrives.)
2. The SB book suggests having a glass of vegetable juice with your breakfast. All I can say about that is I am glad I've had lots of prior experience with the bloody Mary. There is a ginormous jug of V-8 juice in my refrigerator right now, and with each 6 oz. glass that I pour, I try to envision myself at a nice, tropical, waterfront establishment or even Frosty's at Put-in-Bay, for that matter. What is it about vodka that makes tomato juice taste so much better??? I contemplate this question each morning as I drink my virgin V-8. Darth Vader has always said that he could never look at V-8 again after fraternity hell week in college, and I can only imagine why . . .
3. I love me some steak. After almost a week of grilled chicken salad this and grilled chicken salad that, I had steak on Thursday. Holy mother. I ate like a freed hostage.
4. Ever heard of the infamous South Beach Diet mashed "potatoes"? They are actually steamed cauliflower blended with some of that butter spray stuff and a tiny bit of fat free half and half. For starters, I have to say that I'm the weird one who actually eats most of the cauliflower on a vegetable crudité platter, so I do really like it as a vegetable in general, but I gotta say, the imitation 'taters are good. I had a nice little mound of those with my steak, and I felt like I was at Flemings. Never mind the fact that I wolfed it all down and immediately went to an intense spinning class where the well-known properties of cauliflower reared their ugly heads (just in the form of some belching - - don't freak - - but uncomfortable none-the-less).
5. At the above-mentioned spinning class, I realized that some carbs are necessary for working out. Despite eating shortly before the workout, at about 40 minutes in, I got a little loopy. Like so bad that I thought I might have to sit down during a run period. I was like, "Hmmm. Sit down or possibly black out, fall off the bike while attached to the pedals, hit my head on the bike next to me, make the instructor stop the class to tend to my sorry ass, be embarrassed and never want to show my face in here again? Luckily we sat down before I had to make the decision for myself. The last 20 minutes were hazy at best. I couldn't work as hard as usual, and I just felt off. I've decided to avoid that feeling again and allow myself to have a little bit of carbs before a workout - - like part of some kind of bar. Vader keeps a lot of Cliff bars around here. I let myself have half.
6. Do not go to the store hungry. We all know this, right? Well, it's worse on this diet. It's hard to find a readily available, all protein snack. Of course there is cheese, but too much of that is a bad thing. I went to the store on Friday starving. Half way through, I was looking for meat on a stick. Seriously. Something that would satiate my intense craving for something . . . anything!! I had a breakdown in the cracker aisle - - the worst place for anyone on a low carb diet. I threw a box of Kashi cookies (I mean, they're by Kashi, the healthy food people. How bad could they be, right?) in my cart and ate three on my way to pick up the kids. UGH.
7. Finally, little set backs are not the end of the world. After my cookie binge AND having some red wine AND one piece of pizza made on multigrain flatbread, I still woke up weighing less than I did the day before. The week has been successful. The diet has made good on all of its promises in the last 6 days. It hasn't been that hard, and I feel like I'm finally getting somewhere after working my butt off and not seeing any results.
So here's a big ol' V-8 juice toast to week two. It ends with a pancake birthday party, which includes pancakes AND cake, for Princess Lea. I will be spending my week gathering my will to stay the course!!
